Just what is BPD?
According to the Mayo Clinic website; http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442...
"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.
With borderline personality disorder, you may have a severely distorted self-image and feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you may desire to have loving and lasting relationships."
I encourage all of you to do your own research and talk to your mental health professional, as this is just a small part of what it really is. I will list more websites at the end that you can look at if you so desire.
My experience with learning this has been depressing, confusing, and very disappointing. This came to be after starting treatment for an eating disorder, which can be a symptom of BPD; my eating disorder has been the main focus of my treatment and recovery. It took me a long time, years, to accept that I suffer from this. My first reaction was "what? no way, I am not crazy" and "that can't be, I try so hard to just be normal." After that denial, came sadness. A lot of depression and unbelief. Still in somewhat denial, telling myself it is just depression, nothing more. Next came the acceptance. That is where is stopped though.
Today, I still sit with it, not completely sure I understand it and still frustrated. Because of all the treatment I have received thus far, 8 years all together, I can recognize more about myself and sometimes I have even been able to curb some of the impulsive behaviors. What saddens me the most though is that I am unsure if I will be able to ever have any healthy or long term relationships, whether it be with male or female. This thought has paralyzed me for much of the past, because as many of us that suffer know, this is all we want so badly.
Because of being triggered today, I sit here tonight most likely trying to re-accept this fact about me. Trying to tell myself over and over again that it doesn't make me a bad person or even a crazy person. Just a person that has to struggle and fight everyday in a different way than others. Being different doesn't make me unlovable, hated, bad, or worthless, it simply means that I am me and I need to learn to be me!
more websites with info:
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